The eye of the storm: why it gets worse before it gets better

Eye of the storm.jpg

In the wake of a positive growth streak, I woke up today under a bit of a dark cloud and it provoked me into contemplation: why is it that, in the pursuit of anything worthwhile, things tend to get worse before they get better? We hear this saying all the time, but what do we actually mean when we use it? I believe there’s a divine process at play here, a healing formula we cannot escape.

On a more personal level: yesterday was exceptional. I had a perfect day that felt like the culmination of years of healing work. I entered a state of total 5D clarity, felt grounded, centred, supported and laser-focused on the path ahead. To put it simply: I felt light. And then last night, in a shocking turn of events, I endured hours of nightmares, something I haven’t experienced in quite some time. I felt like I was being pulled backwards by an invisible force. Does this ever happen to you? Things are ‘finally’ going your way when suddenly something happens that shakes you to your core? I hear people say things like: “I can’t win” or “It’s like I’m taking one step forward and two steps back.” This type of talk always saddens me because the learning in these moments is not accepting defeat. I get it though: it can be disheartening when life pulls the rug out from under you. That’s how I felt after spending a night with my subconscious, revisiting my fears one by one.

On my healing journey, I’ve noticed there seems to be a thing called ‘temporary harmony’ when everything in life feels aligned and good. It’s like the eye of the storm. You’ve passed through a period of struggle, necessary for your highest good, followed by a moment of total peace. However, the moment you get comfortable is the moment the second half of the storm begins to blow through, only this time not only do you have a choice in how you respond, but newfound awareness given your experience navigating the first half. In its second wave, the storm is like a final exam where action and mindset make all the difference. In the moments following ‘temporary harmony’ we are given a choice: evolve using our experience or repeat the lesson all over again. We can choose to step forward and raise our awareness or remain ‘stuck’.

The grumpy roommate

So why was my elated state of happiness followed by a terrible evening of nightmares? Because, as Michael A. Singer puts it in his book The Untethered Soul, we all possess a grumpy roommate: the ego. The ego exists especially to keep us in a state of fight or flight. It measures and calculates, overthinks and overcomplicates, but most prominently, it’s the voice in our head that questions everything good that crosses our path, especially those moments of harmony. That is why I’m referring to these moments as ‘temporary’. That is, until you untether your consciousness from the ego and awaken your soul. Harmony is not supposed to be temporary.

When we begin to shed old beliefs, or make real progress towards a goal, the ego totally freaks out. When we heal and grow, there’s no place for the ego’s baggage so, whenever we get close, it protests. This grumpy roommate wants to keep us tied to our old behaviours and patterns because it’s what we deem familiar and ‘safe’, whereas the new and unknown territory is deemed ‘unsafe’. This is also the point where things like the fear of failure or the fear of success come in. When you get so close to your goal, your ego will create sudden panic preventing you from following through, usually out of fear. A lot of this happens automatically, so try your best to recognize this pattern when it occurs.

“If you want to be happy, you have to let go of the part of you that wants to create melodrama”  - The Untethered Soul, Michael A. Singer

Similarly, when you enter a ‘good’ place after a period of adversity, life has a way of testing your resilience. When you shed an old identity or way of being, you ‘up-level’ in the direction of love and it’s precisely in these moments that the Universe wants to know for sure: have you really learned and embodied the lesson? To find out, the Universe serves up a situation that tests your strength, hitting on your exact pain points, challenging what remains of your ego’s work. Our ability to rise up from that challenge, choosing a better way and standing up against the ego, is part of the process we call healing. Through these moments, the Universe sees your commitment to change because it’s in these moments that we either fall back to our old ways, or we transform. These are the moments where our decisions matter most. That’s why in spiritual texts, we often read about the importance of choosing love over fear, or silencing the ego.

Evolve or repeat

If you feel defeated today, after being on a high yesterday, remember this: it’s just a little test. The Universe is supporting your healing, and it just wants to be sure. Are you truly ready to move forward without your ego’s baggage? Or are you still hanging on? The choice is yours: evolve or repeat.

Sabrina Fraser